When online dating there are things that successful online daters DO, and things that successful online daters DON’T. So this is a helpful guide to provide some online dating tips for men.
The first thing to remember is that it’s not about looks. That’s right, it’s not about how physically attractive you are. While men tend to focus on looks as a measure of how attractive women are, women look to other indicators that show through on your profile, we’ll discuss those later.
Photos should show you at your best.
Your profile photo is the first thing that any woman is going to see, so it’s important to make it a good one. It should be a head and shoulders picture of you preferably smiling. Your other pictures should show variety, but it is essential to make sure they showcase you. It might seem crazy but some profiles on online dating sites have pictures showing, “me with my ex”. Other people (especially men) in your pictures detract focus from you, which is what you profile is all about, so make sure that you are definitely the focus of every photo on your profile. It’s no use having picture of you skulking in the background, that just won’t cut it.
If you have any ‘interesting’ pictures of yourself, stick them on your profile. They get women, well, interested and act as great conversation starters for email or on a date. ‘Interesting’ could mean a picture of you with a chimpanzee or rock climbing or throwing some pots on a potters wheel or just about anything that people don’t typically get up to.
Make the About You Section Stand Out
Try to be unique and avoid cliché at all costs! Being unique immediately makes you more interesting and desirable. Cliché makes you seem like another run-of-the-mill online dater who can’t be bothered or doesn’t have the ability to make a fun or interesting profile. Your profile needs to reflect what a great guy you are. Consider these two example:
“My name is Steve and I like red wine and funny films.”
“I live for the finer things in life (like a glass of red wine and an Anchorman DVD I mean)”
The second one took 5 seconds for me to think up, is original, has some humor and doesn’t come across like a boring list of qualities. If you think you might need some profile writing advice check out our advice on writing great online dating profiles.
Write Great Emails
What too many men don’t realize is that sending emails is a numbers game. Imagine if you’re inbox was flooded with inquiries from attractive women. It sure would be great to go on dates with them all, but there just isn’t enough time in the day. As a man your criteria for selecting women is different from women’s and probably places a greater focus on looks. When this happens to women, however, they make value judgements in different ways. Looks aren’t as important because they gauge attractiveness by qualities such as confidence, humor and social value amongst other things.
This means a couple of things:
1. By writing fun/confidant/engaging/original emails you greatly increase your chances of getting responses.
2. Even if you write the perfect email, you could still easily get no response.
So this is why playing the numbers game is important. Send engaging emails to plenty of women.
“You look really hot, I think we should meet up” “We have similar interests, we should date” Or “Hey, you look cool, check out my profile!”
Instead try something that is more unique:
“I see that you list chocolate as one of your favorite things. Are you a Dairy Milk or a Galaxy girl?”
Our emails must grab their attention. Once that has happened, it is up to our written profiles, photo galleries, and follow up emails to seal the deal.